We Didn't Belong

WOW. Guess it was perfect weather for me editing my memoirs chapter about my time in Vietnam. It brought out the good and bad feelings and memories. Almost 50 years since I landed "in-country" my feelings are still there, maybe even stronger.

In Vietnam, I was a Chaplain Assistant with the 199^th Light Infantry Brigade. I was trained as a Chaplain Assistant with MOS 71M20. Our job was being a jack-of-all-trades for the Chaplain. We were his driver, acolyte, clerk, jeep mechanic, handyman and bodyguard, among other things.

Being with the 199^th LIB, we were on the TOE of Brigade HHC. This should classify us as REMFs – the rear support personnel. The thing is, we spent most of our time out at the Fire Support Bases with the infantry battalions.

Recently I’ve been in contact with another Chaplain Assistant that was with the 199^th at the same time. It was surprising to hear how much of our thoughts, feelings and experiences were the same. I began to wonder why.

We got back to Brigade Main Base for 2 nights a week, when our Chaplain was on duty there. During that time we spent a lot of time visiting the wounded at the 2 evac hospitals. We saw very little of our fellow Chaplain Assistants – except during these visits to BMB – and then only those that happened to be in at the same time. We were never at BMB long enough to develop any friendships with the support personnel. We didn’t really “belong” to this group – we were field guys.

Back to the FSB. We lived with the grunts, rat patrol, snipers, and recon. Our closest friends were 11B, 11E, etc. For some strange reason these guys adopted us. But we never felt we really “belonged” to their group. We lived with them, drank with them, partied with them. We laughed and cried with them. We were invited to their stand down parties. But we could not “belong” because we didn’t share the field/combat experience.

Some of us ended up going out with the troops one way or another. My Chaplain wasn’t happy when he found out I went with the rat patrol when they escorted the infantry for troop insertion. Recon was willing to take me along on a short patrol – but the Chaplain put a stop to that. Others were able to spend more time in the boonies – yet we still didn’t feel that we “belonged”.

We visited the sick and wounded. We set up the Field Cross for memorial services.  We suffered survivor guilt to varying degrees. And mostly we kept it all to ourselves. After all, it was our job to assist the Chaplain helping the troops. Hell, I don’t think our Chaplains had any idea what we were feeling.

I moved on to HHB II Field Force Vietnam Artillery in the fall of 1970. IIFFV was a REMF group, but my roots were in the field. I wore my boonie hat with pride. Ball caps were required at IIFFV unless you came from a field unit. So, while I made some good friends, I still didn’t really “belong”.

When we got back to the “world”, it was difficult for all Vietnam Vets. The country did not accept and understand us. We no longer “belonged” to their social group.

Each of us handled this in our own way. I finished my college degree and used work to suppress the thoughts for over 30 years. Now, with retirement, the war in Iraq and some other catalysts I probably don’t recognize, the feelings have come to the front. And I still don’t feel that I really “belong”.

SP5 Tom “Preach” Winfield

71M20 Vietnam

Dinner Party on the Sun Porch

 Friends from Hobbs (Peter & Jim) are celebrating Peters 75th birthday. Cousin Don was invited and attended. All I had to do was provide the location. Salad, Garlic Bread, Lasagna, apple cake w/ ice cream was served.

During dinner we were treated to a nice, gentle rain. I heard the Albuquerque got about 0.7 inches of rain!  That's a lot for this area.  The rain cooled off the temperature - enough that I grabbed a sweatshirt. 

In the Army

50 years ago today, I boarded a bus from Kenosha, WI to Milwaukee. That day I raised my hand and offered my life to my country.

The one positive part of the day was when we were advised that that month the Marines were not drafting. 

Later in the day, I was on a plane headed to Fort Campbell and Army Basic Training.

Free Grill

Went out yesterday to get groceries, I nited the neighbor across the street had a gaf grill on the drive, free for the coming.  Back from the store, it was still there and the wife was in the yard.  Talked with her a little.  Dennis then brought it of to me, put it in the back yard.  Now, gonna move it is the shed or sun porch. And need to get a bottle of propane - regulator is with the grill.It will probably kept in the sun porch, more convenient to grill on the patio.

Had thought about picking up a grill, but doubt I would use if much.  Too much hassle  for what little I eat.  But, when (if) have company, it will be nice to have it.

Dinner at The Local Brewhouse

After my appearance at Field Day, I went home and processed thet photos.  Field Day Chairman wanted the photos up on Facebook during Field Day,

Did not feel like fixing some food for dinner, so made the short drive (under a mile) to The Local Brewhouse.  Normally, I prefer to eat out on the pasio.  The problem was if was very windy.  Was going to eat at the enclosed porch, but there was a noizy child or two where a couple families were eating.  Ended up sitting on the bar.

Asked for a pint of Kilt Lifter, but they were out, so had theit Local Brewhouse Amber.  For food, had thei pub burger.  The purger seemed to be larget than the last time, but same price.

Field Day 2019

The weekend of June 22/23 was Field Day - a day for Amateur Radio Operators to show their emergency preparedness.  The High Desert ARC set uo at Enchanted Trails RV Park West end of Albuquerque.  The club set up a phone station, CW station, and GOTA (Get On The Air) station. 

I visited the site and operations for several hours, taking photos for the club.  Then when home, posted them on the club's Facebook page.

Lunch at Chili's

Had a busy paperwork morning.  Went to Office Mas for supplies to construct a copy of my memoirs to send to Aunt Audrey.  Did a little editing while printing a copy of my efforts, so far.

Soon, it was past lunch time.  Chili's is about a milr away, so headed there.  Had a weekday lunch special combos -- Caesar salad, double cheeseburger, and fries.  Washed down the food with a 22 oz of amber ale.

I figured that while the salad would lower my INR, the 22 oz of beer should raise it.   zero sum?!

Not surprising, when I got home, I was too tired to do any work, even on the computer.